Work Life Balance

Creating Successful Relationships Part 2 

In part 1 we explored how to identify problems in a relationship. All relationships have problems but with a few tweeks your relationship can become a successful relationship in no time.Their are allot of ways to do this and one of them is to explore how you feel about your personal boundries.

You also need to consider what your personal boundaries are and where you draw the line. Are you allowing the other people to go into your personal space or cross to your boundaries and then get angry at them for doing it. Ask yourself who is responsible for enforcing your boundaries? Do you always respect the personal space of others and when you do not how do they react?

Another important question to ask yourself is where are you coming from emotionally when you relate to the relationship you are in? Are you coming from a place of insecurity or from a place of love? Do you feel safe in the relationship, can you trust the other person, do you feel respected and loved? If you do not feel that you are in a relationship that has mutual respect, kindness and love you may feel insecure or disappointed maybe even hurt. Self doubt may come into play at this point and begin to manifest itself in all kinds of behaviors. You may feel that the safety net that used to exist not longer holds you. You have to go elsewhere to feel safe, respected and loved. Anger is a frequent visitor and seems to be like a snake that strikes without any warning, unpredictable and deadly.

You can clearly see the faults of the other individual, the obnoxious teen, the controlling parent or the spouse that is trying to drive you insane. You are as sure of this as you are that the sun will rise in the morning. The only thing missing is your part. You know which part I am reffering to, it is the part where you take responsibility for your feelings, actions and thoughts.

Your feelings are powerful; they can control your actions, manipulate your mind and take over your life. They can even ruin a perfectly good relationship. I wrote an article about how ‘’you can fall in love with a serial killer but that doesn’t mean you should be with him’’ in that article you can see that feelings should not trump our intuition, our common sense or our rational mind. We can all find our way back from emotional confusion, anger and pain but it takes work.

Don´t forget that every feeling you have had a thought attached to it. Think about where the anger and judgements that you have came from. Successful relationships take work but they are worth every bit of the effort you put into them.

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Check back later for part 3

Drifa Ulfarsdottir

www.twitter.com/drifau

Copyright © Drifa Ufarsdottir 2009